March
22 2013
Had an amazing talk with Cal last night while snuggling
Elliott. He woke up crying and I’d just gotten him back to sleep. We talked
about adopting the waiting children verses trying to adopt an infant. Neither of us feels that we need to have the
child or children from infancy to love them as much as Elliott. Some of the literature the social worker gave us about
fertility and adoption really didn’t apply to us, or we think we’ll be able to
deal with it well because of the situations we have been through, and because
of our faith. Cal has such a skill set
from being adopted by Brennan; he’s so healthy and adjusted! Something Cal said
that made my heart melt and made me fall in love with him all over again was “I
won’t grieve the loss of not holding them and raising them as infants; I’ll
feel for them that they don’t get to have that”. I asked him when he felt Brennan became his
dad, and he couldn’t even remember – He was so young (7) he felt Brennan had
always been his dad. I’d really like to
discuss Brennan’s feeling and thoughts on it.
I want to fill our house with photos of our children, and artwork and
school work all over the fridge. I want
them to come to me with their hurts so that I can hug them and help them. I really think the Lord has made us ready.
I talked to the social worker again this morning, because we had more
questions, mostly about the education portion.
I asked her about the dates of the April session, and unfortunately the
first session is the 10th of April, (The day we leave for our
cruise), the following sessions the dates worked out well. All 4 sessions have to be taken in order as
the following sessions may not be put on by the same administrator. She also made sure I knew that the people in
the courses are ones that have been waiting longer to take them. I tried to explain our eagerness as
excitement to begin the process, I believe she understood. I also asked if there would be any courses in
person that we could take instead of the webinars. She said they occasionally come up in other
towns, like PG. I told her that we would
like to hear of anything like that, because we are very willing to travel. Our doctor will be away for the month of April and beginning of May, so I asked if his replacement would be good enough for the medical questionnaires. Lana said to wait for Dr. Watt to return, as we have to wait for the paperwork to “trickle” in anyways. I assume she means the references and criminal record check. She also mentioned that not many adoptions, nor much of the process, happen during the summer. I was very surprised by that. She said that not many prospective parents even want to do anything in the summer due to vacations and holidays and camping. I feel she may be saying that from a place of…not ignorance, but not understanding…maybe? If other prospective parents are like us, now that we’ve made the decision, we would love to have our kids home already. I want their hurts and fears to stop and the healing to begin, as soon as possible. If the children we end up with tell us that the year before we adopted them was awful, it will break my heart, because there is no reason they shouldn’t already be with us. I’m resolving to be persistent, but try not to be a pain in her ass. And if I need to I’ll send off an email to the coordinator to see if she can help us get into the education sooner.
Also
found and read a helpful on going blog about “Monica’s” adoption and the
process they’re going through. http://waitingtobelong.ca/real-stories/blog. It fascinates me that the steps
they’re going through differ a bit from the steps we have been informed
about. They had a lot of information
from their adoption coordinator, whereas we only heard from ours to
get the information to contact our social worker. Monica certainly has a lot of the same thoughts, fears,
hopes, and dreams that I have. We may be
a similar personality type ha-ha.
In my ongoing research I found this website which I found informative. It discusses RAD http://www.attachmentdisorder.net/
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