March 25 2013

March 25 2013

 Our decision has given me a sense of real peace over both our fertility issues and our miscarriage.  (2 Thessalonians 3 discusses God giving us HIS peace…read it this week, it was awesome)  The decision to adopt while we still know that it is a choice, not a “resort” feels absolutely like the right thing to do.  I am confident in the knowledge that we could achieve another pregnancy with the use of Chlomid again, if that was our wish, but we both feel very strongly led to adopt a “Waiting Child”.  We know the very real challenges that come with this decision, and we’re willing and ready to learn, search, pray and find resources to guide us with whatever children God gives to us. 

 

I’ve requested 3 books from the AFABC, which I’m really looking forward to reading. 

 

Another thing I wanted to write in this here journal is that the feelings of longing and jealousy that I used to get when seeing a newborn, or pregnant lady, have dissipated.   We want to achieve parenthood again, not pregnancy.  I’m lucky and glad that I was able to have that experience, but it isn’t required for me to love a child.  I love my friends children as much as I love my own nieces, and I KNOW that a child that is placed in our care, who we help choose, and who is chosen for us, will be loved by both of us as much as our own son is. 

 

I’m not saying that I’m no longer sad about our miscarriage, but we learn every day that everything happens for a reason.  We knew that God would strengthen us through the loss of our baby Ezekiel.  The name Ezekiel means exactly that “God will strengthen”.  We may have needed to go through that experience to make us ready to leap into the next phase in our life.  I’m SO excited about this step, the process involved, the people we will meet, and mostly to meet our new children.  I want them with me now, but understand that the steps involved are there to protect these children.  I’ve started praying for the children we will receive (and the other waiting children). 

I talked to Cal today about using our people resources.  I want to talk to Alan and Rhoda’s friend Joyce and her family.  They’ve adopted 10 children, and I would love to speak with her about it.  We know that the process is only just beginning so we’re thinking about having the whole family of 12 over in the summer for a barbeque.  I’m not sure if I’m patient enough to wait that long, so may try to sneak in a coffee date with just her before then.  I also look forward to discussing blended families with Cal's parents.  I think that they will be resources to utilize as well.