August 30 2013

Started getting random emails today with the subject M1- introduction AEPO blah blah blah.  THE AEP COURSE OPENED.  I've tinkered around a bit in moodle (The online program/venue for the course), but for the most part I'm waiting for Cal to come home so we can start the course together.  I think us having only one computer may end up being a bit frustrating for us but I'm sure we will survive.  I can't believe it's finally started.

Juno

I purchased Juno in the cheap bin at Wal-Mart awhile back, and a few nights ago I finally got around to watching it.  ****Spoiler Alert**** I may discuss specifics.  I popped it in the PS3, not a hundred percent sure what the premise of the movie was.  Basically a 16 year old (Juno) gets pregnant, decides to have an abortion, decides not to have an abortion, tells her parents, chooses an adoptive couple, gets close to the adopting father who seems cool but turns out to be yucky, the couple splits up, and the 16 year old places her child for adoption with the original (now single) adoptive mom.  There were so many moments in this movie that I really wanted to yell at the TV.  Juno was very blasé about the pregnancy, the prospective adoptive father was very inappropriate, the parents were unrealistic, and the birth father was pathetic.  The characters were very exaggerated.  Now that I've complained about the show for awhile, I have to admit that I sort of liked it at a whole.  It does seem to imply that all situations are not the same and all people will not have the same attitudes in a given situation.  Most of the articles or portrayal of birth mothers that I've read or seen show a messed up mother, who would like to keep the child, but for whatever reason cannot.  They place the infant or child up for adoption, but attempt to negotiate and openness agreement. It made me sit down and think - some of these mothers/fathers actually do not want, nor have any feelings for the child they gave birth to or fathered.  What will the birth families to our children be like? 
The tag line taken from IMDB for Juno says:
Faced with an unplanned pregnancy, an offbeat young woman makes an unusual decision regarding her unborn child.
I disagree. Placing a child for adoption with a fit mother, whether she is single or not, is not an unusual decision, but it is a smart one.  The character Juno adamantly refused an openness agreement though, which in this date in society is an unusual choice, or so the literature that the MCFD and adoption websites portray say.

The movie made me cry, and made me mad.  To certain people I would recommend it, not as a much loved show, but as a show to make you think.

August 21 2013

So I've been absent from posting for a bit because there really hasn't been any progress to post about.  We start the Adoption Education Program in just under 2 weeks (YAYAYAYAYAYAY).
We received the course description and outline, as well as the course expectations.  The course expectation is kind of funny. One of the main points is that you are required to talk and share stories about any trauma you've experienced - then later on down the page it lists some Red Flag behaviours such as "The sharing of previous traumas or experiences with fellow participants or the facilitator".  While it's pretty funny that it is so contradictory, it also makes me nervous - what if they decide we're unfit to adopt because of a silly comment or something we say? 
I've been having a bit of anxiety lately that we'll get on some blacklist and none of the children's social workers will want us to adopt the children they're protecting.  Not sure where the anxiety comes from, because I really can't think of any reason why we would end up on any such list.  I think I'm borrowing worries for no reason.  I mentioned the anxiety to my manager at work and she said that I'm feeling that way because I'll be perfect for adoption.  That was a nice little ego boost.

I found a document on Choices Adoption Agency Website awhile ago - It is called a family map. This is the blurb from the page: 

A family map is a lot like a family tree.  The map shows your parents, your brothers and sisters, children, former spouses and anyone else who lives with you now.

Please draw your family map showing your parents' generations in one row across the top, your generation in the middle row and your children's in a row across the bottom.  You might want to turn the page sideways to give you more room for long rows.

You can find and download the form here: http://www.choicesadoption.ca/resources/forms.php

Cal's family will take up several pages alone if we put in all the "parents" in his life.  He has his Mom, and adopted father, both of whom were married before, then his birth father (deceased) and his wife whom also has children and a new spouse as well as a child she put up for adoption as a teenager.  How much detail would they want on a document like that I wonder?  His family is more of a crazy spiderweb than a tree....

One last thought before I sign off for the day is that I notice quite often I say things like "You are SO your father's child" about our birth son.  I wonder when we'll get to say things like about our adopted children.  With Cal being adopted as a young boy, I do know that the kids will pick up some of our traits - I wonder how long that takes to happen?  Maybe that's a question for his Mom to answer for me.  I'll try to remember to ask her.